A friend of mine with 2 sons with Autism was frustrated at her 4 year old getting grumpy and starting to bite and hit her. It reminded of my little Timmy when he was that same age. He would get so frustrated and would sometimes hit me out of pure frustration, which would make me so mad, but I learned that if I reassured him, he would calm down.
I used to read this book a lot to him which I found so sweet and so true. The story shows the cub having a grumpy day, then a bumpy day, then a plumpy day. And despite that he is feeling grumpy or plumpy or bumpy, his mother reassures him that "I love you just the way you are."
I realized through this book how often little children feel unlovable when they are grumpy...and they often ARE hard to love in the moment! However, they actually think that you hate them, when you don't at all! When they are reassured, they calm right down.
I remember using that phrase with Timmy, "I know you are feeling grumpy, but I love you just the way you are." He would recognize the story and calm right down.
Last week, Cora was very tired and started hitting and yelling and telling me that I'm a stupid mom.
I told her "I think you are low on hugs! Let's fill you up!" and I stopped what I was doing and just held her. She was so tense and then just melted and relaxed. Poor thing.
She just doesn't know what she herself needs sometimes. usually just a little undivided attention.
We all have a little kid in us that wants some reassurance that we are loved, doing OK, cared about. I hope that especially my husband (who has to see all of my grumpy days), my parents, my siblings, my in-laws, my nieces and nephews, all our close family and friends know that I love you and that you are important to me.
I might have a grumpy day, you might have a grumpy day, but I love you just the way you are.
- Katie
